Sunday, March 28, 2010

Lions, Tigers and Bar Prep! OH MY!

I will be sitting for the NC bar exam this July. I paid my BarBri tuition tonight. Seems crazy to think that I just paid a crazy amount to subject myself to torture for 10 weeks this summer. 11-12 hours a day of studying, outlining, and practice exams. My stomach is literally in knots thinking about not just the actual exam but making it through the prep without having a complete heart attack. I feel like I am being thrown to the Lions...

And not these cute lil guys I played with in South Africa this summer either (it was winter there, hence the coat)...

In all seriousness, while I have a BAD case of senioritis, I am super nervous about the bar exam. I know it seems pretty trivial compared to some of the horrific things people have to go thorough and I know its just a test. But my ability to start my career and my life rides on this test. My job and a ridiculous amount of student loans are on the line. Not to mention the thought of taking it twice makes me a little crazy, like a lock me up on the 8th floor of the mental hospital crazy. (Just ask my husband)

In all the stress and all the worry, I am reminded that God will see me through. He has been so faithful in my life and I know that he will be by my side as I enter this new season in my life.

I am reading this really AWESOME book right now called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. (another sign that i have senioritis, I haven't had time to "read" for fun in 3 years and now I am making time). Anyhow, the book has a great chapter about stress. Francis Chan says that when we worry about our life, our family and our jobs we convey the belief that we think what we are going through is more important than God's command. That command is found in Phillipians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice." In verse 6 it says "Do not be anxious about anything." Chan says worry implies that we don't trust that God is big enough or powerful enough to handle whats going on.

This really stung. You know that feeling when you read something and you know it was written just for you to hear. I got that feeling. Yup, I worry and stress. I stress a lot. Sure I pray about things and I ask God for help and guidance. But, so many times I find myself trying to do things own my own and worrying about what tomorrow might hold. My hope is that as I embark on this new season in my life that I will trust God to see me through and that in everything I will rejoice....(yup, rejoicing even when I am studying 12 hours a day for 10 weeks)

1 comment:

  1. soooo good to see you in the blog world :) good word by the way!! glad i can keep up with you now.. go get them tigers....