The past 4 weeks have been TOUGH. I have studied alot.. and the more I learn the more I realize how much I dont know.
Those of you who know me, know that I tend to be really good at stressing about school. Throughout this whole bar prep process I have remained really calm, almost eerily calm. I know its because I have people praying for me every single day of this journey.
I had a bad dream last night. Scratch that, I had a nightmare. I dreamed that it was the essay day of the bar exam and everyone else had gotten the answers the day before. I got the test and I knew nothing. I was crying and I remember trying to answer the essays as big ole crocodile tears poured from my eyes. I couldn't think of anything. JNOV?? what was JNOV again??? It was like I had not studied at all. I managed to write something down for all the questions, and when it came time to proofread I realized that not one of my sentences made ANY sense.
I woke up this morning feeling tired and really not wanting to study torts all day.
I posted a message on facebook during my afternoon study break that said, "Carol is really questioning her decision not to become a teacher today..." because it seemed all my teacher friend's status updates said something to the effect of "schools out for the summer." I started feeling really sorry for myself. It didn't seem fair that I was confined to the library 12 hours a day. Is all this work really worth it?
I jumped off facebook and headed over to read some of my favorite blogs. One of my favorite blogs is "Lots of Scotts," written by a mom of triplets. She is an amazing Christian women whose story and daily thoughts inspire and encourage me. I love reading about how she sees the world through the eyes of her three children. I'm not a mom yet, and am no where near ready for that season of my life, but for some reason I am captivated by her stories and how she sees God in the everyday happenings of life.
Anyway, all of that was to say that she had a post today about being happy with the season of life that you are in and she shared this verse--It was exactly what I needed to hear!
Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. 1 Corinthians 7:17
I love the Message translation too!
And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.
This season of my life may not be what I consider the "best," or even enjoyable, but I believe that God has placed me here for a reason and I will continue to "live, obey, love and believe." What a beautiful reminder that I am where I am suppose to be. God assigned ME to this place, so in him I will "rejoice and be glad."
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